Daddy Issues? and so much more. Episode 2 Season 2

 

In this episode, we delve into how our childhood experiences can shape us into the adults we become.

I share my personal stories about the struggles I faced during my childhood, which ultimately helped

me become the person I am today. Although I still face challenges, I have learned to accept and

understand my past to better deal with my present.

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Daddy Issues? Really? Labeling our issues is a great pastime nowadays. The in thing to do.

Our baggage comprises past experiences that we lug around with us and bring into our present.

Blaming our parents for our faults or even traumatic events that we don't move on from can drag us down.

Should we blame the people in our past or how we did not move on from it all?

Episode 17: Don't Owe You a Damn Thing!

 

Being shamed into something or at the receiving end of a guilt turd ball of emotion does not compute to owing someone. Holding someone emotionally hostage to force them to act or act on something you feel should be done is not a thing. You and I owe nothing when it comes to emotional currency. This rings true when people say, "You do you, and I will do me." This episode reflects on life lessons that snuck into a current situation.

What is Shame?

I have enough issues; I do not need anyone's help to add to my emotional baggage. 

This episode is a thought dump about not owing people things they think you do. Just because it is in their head that your actions will solve problems does not make it truth.

Episode. 16 - How old am I? How old do I feel?

 

When I look in the mirror, I wonder how I got this old. Without the visual proof that I am no longer someone in my twenties or thirties, in my mind, I see and feel like a young adult.

Like many older people, you do not consider yourself different from the decades before. 

Then come those moments in life when you are reminded you are no longer that young person but an older version of that same person.

Having young women tell you they envy you for sitting at a bar alone. Telling you they wish they had the confidence to do so.

The doctor upsells you vaccines for people over fifty. 

The hairstyles you found as samples for the hairdresser to cut and style my hair are commented on as old lady styles.

Woman's Magazines

What is your attitude toward Sex?

 Are we messed up about sex? You put a group of people together and tell them to have sexual experiences with each other, but each person has been informed, trained, and influenced, all in different ways, about this subject we claim to know so much about.

Where do our sexual attitudes come from? We are influenced by everyday people, our media, our loved ones, and the people who raised us, so how much control and opinions are of our own?

In 1938, Alfred Kinsey began gathering case histories of sexual behavior. In 1940, Kinsey and his staff collected over 18,000 interviews and published Sexual Behavior in the Human Male in 1948 and Sexual Behavior in the Human Female in 1953. With all this research, people started to learn about sexual behavior and where they stood among the masses. But, introducing ongoing exploration of our sexuality throughout the times of change, have we strayed from asking the questions and assuming that what we were taught or experienced is just that of our norm? Do we stay comfortable with what we know and leave it at that?

Sex is a large part of our lives; when you think about it, does it not control how we think, feel, act and portray ourselves to others? Our sex, as in gender, has separated us through eras. Our sexual preferences have us turning from one situation to another. Our sexual attitudes on a personal level influence how we deal with each experience. We could group our attitudes into like minds and bodies, bend a little and try the new thing, and very well accept those who wish not to journey with us to the unknown.

We all seem to be doing a lot about nothing, talking very little about what we want to share. Instead, we take our little attitudes and secret desires and sneak them into the corners of our lives, hoping someone will understand, make sense of and play along. It is not common to discuss fantasies with your mate, friends, or co-workers; although done, how detailed and truthful are they? Have you asked your partner questions about sex? Is there a whole discussion? And if this happens, is this a comfortable thing to share?

As free as we are to express ourselves, do we define ourselves sexually without judgment? Society has us dancing through fire as it is, so keep your clothes on and your mind clean, and don't tell us what you are doing behind closed doors unless you are on Oprah and there is a scandal involved. In this day and time, is there the shush factor? Are we as open-minded as we think we are? Or do we have more to judge than in times past?

We live with rules, laws, conditions, and personal limits. With this massive subject, look into your sexual attitude and how it reflects and affects who you are. Keep yourself as accurate and true to yourself as possible, but allow the changes, curiosity, and enjoyment to bring you to new levels of your life without letting go of your identity. Your sexual attitudes should never go stale and become a healthy place within your life.

Sometimes with relationships in your life, the influence of one's attitudes can be good or bad. So open your mind and don't judge those whose attitude differs; remember how the journey has differed from your own.

Episode 15 - SERIOUSLY. WHAT IS MY PROBLEM?

The answer to self-sabotage is not to self-sabotage yourself. Years of research and several bookshelves filled with self-help books have brought me to this astounding conclusion. I could have saved myself a few bucks or hundreds if I had put the red heels on. (in the podcast I said they were 6 inches but 3 inches feels like 6 to me: only referring to shoes though lol) Writing has been a therapy. Looking at past writing, you can view the ebbs and flows, ups and downs, and highs and lows, to most of it. Self Sabotage, I have mastered; that trait or quality is apparent whether I would like to acknowledge it or not. Drowning in inspiration and advice from the books, podcasts, and audiobooks, my "ah ha" moment, or what I call my "holy crap" moment, started to come clear to me. Not that I did not know this already, the notion I lack self-confidence and that I sabotage everything with my fears; the new realization was the fact that I was waiting for something to change. What the hell was I waiting for? All this time, I was waiting for change to happen. Was it to come in a lightning bolt to jolt my life in a new direction? Maybe a special delivery right to my front door? It will not manifest, especially with me shutting the door on change every time it appears. I took time to reflect and stood back from it all before the pieces started coming together. Now in no way am I where I want to be, but the door is open for new and exciting things to enter my life. One thing that holds me back is the lack of self-confidence; it is more an ingrained negative self-perception that most likely has some deep seeded root that someday will surface. The first thing that sparked was when I was listening to an interview that led to the question: 'When was the last time you felt outstanding? My answer was First, I'm not too fond of shoes and shopping altogether, and I often wonder if I am some other breed of woman. Second, I like simple, or at least that is what I thought before. Friends had invited us out for an evening of dancing at a club. You always see high heels on women, but not for this chick. My friend convinced me I needed to let loose, have some fun, get dressed up, and go all out. So we went shopping, and I purchased high heels. Totally out of my comfort zone, I turned heads, attention was on me, and I survived. My feet hurt like hell, but I ROCKED. Amongst the self-help shelves, I read: "Your higher self is in direct opposition to your comfort zone." My comfort zone has weighed me down to the point that I have become complacent, and as harsh as it sounds, I have become useless. I was, on the whole, the useless component of making my dreams a reality. As corny as it is, "my higher self was in high heels!" Comfort be damned. My comfort zone was the 'invisible me' blending into my surroundings. Alone in my safe, comfortable zone where the world does not judge me. The red shoes remind me that I look awesome, feel powerful, accomplish goals, and ROCK outside my comfort zone.

Episode 14 - The Mango Happiness Project Story #themango

 

Her wheelchair did not fit easily between the table and the kitchen island. I finished helping her get ready for the day. I had arrived earlier that day and was so excited to show her, The Mango, my car, my orange car. I couldn't believe the chick who hates attention and was a devoted introvert now drives a very orange vehicle.

(The paint is called Gomango.)

Her reaction was short. "It is certainly orange."

It was too late…

She would never ride in my brand-spankin' new car, which had 8 miles on it when bought that I had owned for all of a day.

For months of driving back and forth, the 5 hours total per week and sometimes more, I had owned a Jeep Cherokee. When she went from cane to wheelchair, that son of a bitchin' thing fit, just right, in the back. We would go for breakfast, and my gut and arms were full of bruises as wrestling that chair was not my forte.

The day I arrived with my new car, I drove two and half hours down that same highway, but this time I was in my happy car. I felt peace and just a hint of ease deep inside, something that had been buried in a mess of hopelessness. I had been on autopilot of duty and pushing forward in numbness. Something you just do because you have to, no matter what.

I knew the end was close, and I had spent months doing everything possible to help her in every way possible. 

The only time I took time for myself was between visits; I would arrive home and cry, actually bawl and become a total mess of emotions. Then, I would dump barrels of grief, confusion, and utter pain all over my husband and head back down that highway in a few short days. 

When we decided to get the car it seemed totally out of the theme of life at that point. We just did it, and it was an unsaid and on-hold happy embrace, reminding us of how strong we are.

When I arrived, I parked my car, where it stayed. I could see it from the dining room window, the same one I fought furniture and that chair so she could see the mango that one time.

It would be 27 days before I would drive the mango back home. 

#themango represents the strength you don't know or the power you have hidden. It embraces happiness even when you are struggling.

It reminds you that you can look fucking awesome in orange!

Join the Group

Pin-Ups in Us

 

Painted lips in red, cherry, pink, or cinnamon, a woman’s pouted soft lips express desire and are wrapped in soft silks, lace, feather boas, pearls, and heels. Hair swept up in sexy curls or draped in wisps on bare shoulders. Cheeks rosé and glowing lashes embellished viewed in attractive waves. A woman is seen by admiring eyes, the look she sees looking at her as sexy and beautiful. When a woman feels sexy, feels gorgeous, this is a pin-up! Put some attitude or sensual, playful, controlled flirtatious boundaries and a lot of sass; you will then have a pin-up with sexitude!

Women, through time, have posed for pictures. The still portrait of their beauty is captured for the world to view. As all women have the pin-up girl within themselves, most do not share it with the world. Feeling that way, the way that gives them the confidence to show off to the public the beauty that they possess and can offer. That feeling is usually tainted and, most times, never nurtured. To express and appreciate what you own as a woman comes from within. As we compare ourselves to other people, guidelines, and judgments, we no longer possess that confidence and realization that we are sexy; hell, we are women!!

As our society and media guide our lives, we also judge others and expect them to judge us. What would they say if the many magazines that have told you how to apply your makeup, how to eat, how to exercise if they just told you how to be you? We live through the lives and advice of others, passing along the news. Keeping it real and controversial, our lives forget how to take care of ourselves as individuals without prejudice. 

Becoming your pin-up girl: understand yourself, take away the outside world and realize what you offer to be sexy, beautiful, and a great person. You are the pin-up girl that gives inspiration to yourself so that you may share it with the rest of us.

Claim your radiance, concentrate on your attributes, silence your critical voices, and whisper this:  My body is strong, vibrant, and healthy; I am a masterpiece in progress. Love flows through every cell; I love and honor my body unconditionally.

The tips of all the articles, and all the advice, are a reference to changing looks, but you are already beautiful and a pin-up girl; how you share it with the world is your choice and your power. 

How watching TV can make you feel like a Sasquatch

 Not that there is anything wrong with being a Sasquatch if you are one, but if you are woman trying her best to look her best everyday, all the information and products can be overwhelming.

Imagine this, it is a typical day, and you sit down to eat lunch and watch some TV, which means commercials.

Then you realize most of the ads are about women-

The Yeast Infection - seen on TV- here is the cure, one step, no mess, clear that yuk up.

The period - menstruation, the curse, that time of month - as seen on TV - many types of pads, tampons, light, heavy, day, night, long, thin, small, maximum, for little women, for large women.

Are you feeling great about it?

Dry Vagina - heat it with lube, girls. Make it a night where everything slides right in.

Itchy and irritated - there is an ointment for that, some cream that will remove the smell and that itch so you can stop picking at your ass.

Acne - There are endless medicated cleansers, creams, cover-ups, and more—no more zits for you.

Wrinkles- so much research, and there are so many creams- day, nighttime, any time. Use it every day. No need to worry, no need to have a wrinkle on your face or your ass with the amount of wonder creams available.

Are you feeling beautiful yet? Just let me know when....but wait...

Fat, chunky, and hoarding belly fat - a billion and two, fast, quick, and easy methods to be as fit as a skinny ass model in no time. All at your figure tips, pick a pill or book, shove it and use it...you will be thin in no time.

Feel gorgeous yet?....but wait...

Don't forget that fur lining you have - wax, razors, razors with built-in moisturizers, creams, gels, no heat wax, sugar wax, professional laser, or waxing. There is no reason to be that hairy; none; get smooth.

If you don't feel beautiful during the last 30 minutes of commercials

Episode 11 - Boudoir: The Self Confidence Connection

Why would we get undressed to feel more confident in ourselves? Do women need to feel beautiful?

We are exposed daily to images of sexy women. The female physique has been alluring for all time. The abundance of magazines, billboards, social media posts, and more sell products by displaying sexy women. The hint of sexual allusion was extremely popular to show sexy, and sex sells. With professional models and image filters covering magazines, billboards, TV, and social media, we start young by benchmarking our body expectations. 

We start to judge ourselves and doubt our body image. What we should be, what we could be, and the beauty product industry is proof at $500 billion annually. On average, women spend $150 on keeping up their beauty in a year. 

Episode 9 - Just Lose It! It is Ok to be NOT Ok.

Why do we judge ourselves so harshly over our emotions. If you are in a bad mood, you are a bitch. If you are sad, you are over sensitive. If you are grieving, you are a downer.

This could all be an internal conversation and have no bearing on what other's think at all. 

All the same, we go about our day and are flooded with positivity. In the forms of caring people who just want you to happy. In the form of memes on social media and even in the form of self help books. 

These books we turn to so we can unlock a miracle of happiness from every page.          🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️😢💋

For a positive affirmation to be effective, determine first the kind of transformation you want to make, such as an outcome, goal, or mindset that you want to develop. Scientific studies confirm that using affirmations can “rewire” your brain and help you make positive changes in your life. Some people believe that it takes several weeks of repeating a personal affirmation before you see results, so try to continue to say your positive affirmation daily for at least a month. At first, you'll need to make a conscious decision to repeat your affirmations. However, over time they will start to replace the negative thoughts that tend to take over when you aren't monitoring your thoughts. source