Daddy Issues? and so much more. Episode 2 Season 2

 

In this episode, we delve into how our childhood experiences can shape us into the adults we become.

I share my personal stories about the struggles I faced during my childhood, which ultimately helped

me become the person I am today. Although I still face challenges, I have learned to accept and

understand my past to better deal with my present.

Listen Now

Daddy Issues? Really? Labeling our issues is a great pastime nowadays. The in thing to do.

Our baggage comprises past experiences that we lug around with us and bring into our present.

Blaming our parents for our faults or even traumatic events that we don't move on from can drag us down.

Should we blame the people in our past or how we did not move on from it all?

Episode 17: Don't Owe You a Damn Thing!

 

Being shamed into something or at the receiving end of a guilt turd ball of emotion does not compute to owing someone. Holding someone emotionally hostage to force them to act or act on something you feel should be done is not a thing. You and I owe nothing when it comes to emotional currency. This rings true when people say, "You do you, and I will do me." This episode reflects on life lessons that snuck into a current situation.

What is Shame?

I have enough issues; I do not need anyone's help to add to my emotional baggage. 

This episode is a thought dump about not owing people things they think you do. Just because it is in their head that your actions will solve problems does not make it truth.

Episode. 16 - How old am I? How old do I feel?

 

When I look in the mirror, I wonder how I got this old. Without the visual proof that I am no longer someone in my twenties or thirties, in my mind, I see and feel like a young adult.

Like many older people, you do not consider yourself different from the decades before. 

Then come those moments in life when you are reminded you are no longer that young person but an older version of that same person.

Having young women tell you they envy you for sitting at a bar alone. Telling you they wish they had the confidence to do so.

The doctor upsells you vaccines for people over fifty. 

The hairstyles you found as samples for the hairdresser to cut and style my hair are commented on as old lady styles.

Woman's Magazines

Episode 11 - Boudoir: The Self Confidence Connection

Why would we get undressed to feel more confident in ourselves? Do women need to feel beautiful?

We are exposed daily to images of sexy women. The female physique has been alluring for all time. The abundance of magazines, billboards, social media posts, and more sell products by displaying sexy women. The hint of sexual allusion was extremely popular to show sexy, and sex sells. With professional models and image filters covering magazines, billboards, TV, and social media, we start young by benchmarking our body expectations. 

We start to judge ourselves and doubt our body image. What we should be, what we could be, and the beauty product industry is proof at $500 billion annually. On average, women spend $150 on keeping up their beauty in a year. 

Episode 9 - Just Lose It! It is Ok to be NOT Ok.

Why do we judge ourselves so harshly over our emotions. If you are in a bad mood, you are a bitch. If you are sad, you are over sensitive. If you are grieving, you are a downer.

This could all be an internal conversation and have no bearing on what other's think at all. 

All the same, we go about our day and are flooded with positivity. In the forms of caring people who just want you to happy. In the form of memes on social media and even in the form of self help books. 

These books we turn to so we can unlock a miracle of happiness from every page.          🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️😢💋

For a positive affirmation to be effective, determine first the kind of transformation you want to make, such as an outcome, goal, or mindset that you want to develop. Scientific studies confirm that using affirmations can “rewire” your brain and help you make positive changes in your life. Some people believe that it takes several weeks of repeating a personal affirmation before you see results, so try to continue to say your positive affirmation daily for at least a month. At first, you'll need to make a conscious decision to repeat your affirmations. However, over time they will start to replace the negative thoughts that tend to take over when you aren't monitoring your thoughts. source

Episode 8 - It is NEVER too late to be GREAT

Sex'n'Fries - the Podcast. this episode was amazing. It was my first with guests. It went pretty well considering no one had clue what they were doing.

How many times have you heard "Life got in the way" ?

How about "That is way out of my comfort zone!"?

When I was heading towards my fifties, I was stuck in a 'it is what it is and it is how it is'. Let me explain...

I had somehow learned that my age defined me and what I was to do. It was not obvious to me, but looking back, I realize how I was stuck in a predefined path.

The very day I left my mom's house after her funeral, the world seemed closed, claustrophobic and heavy. My world was changing whether I wanted it to or not.

Holy hell, now what?

As I learned to be an orphan, I realized that I was still learning. I realized I also had years and years of experience.

POW right on the side of a head spinning moment.... I already had the tools, smarts and now I needed to step from the comfort zone of 'letting things happen' and expand to another step.

If I knew then what I know now, most likely nothing would be different and I am sure I would not want it to be. All the crap I have lived through is my portfolio, it valuable life lessons that I continuous learned from. I might have failed a few exams here and there but you also learn from that.

Tracy:
Hello, my name is Tracy Hicks. I am an imperfect Wife, Mother, Daughter, Aunt, and Nana. I have a beautiful daughter, and two equally beautiful granddaughters. I turned 50 years young this past January, and haven't looked back. I am an Entrepreneur, and an Associate Market Builder with MONAT Global. I've lived in Ontario my whole life, but love to travel. I am living my best life.

https://healthyhairwithtracyhicks.mymonat.com

Tracy talked to us about the changes life takes us through but how we start to fit into our own skin.

Barb

Hello, my name is Barb O'Dell. I am a Transformational Life Coach. A personal growth junkie from a young age. I have a passion for helping people to overcome obstacles and challenges. I have been married 36 years and have 2 grown children. Currently living in Ontario I am loving life and myself with the help of all I have learned in life so far.

https://www.itsyourlifecoach.ca/

Barb talked to us about how sometimes life lessons can take you on a transforming personal journey and it is not always easy to see your own value in those lessons. Barb also shows us that your greatness arrives at any age and you are the one that gets there.

Thank you to both my guests. I hope you enjoy this episode!

Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and to share it with everyone you know!

Episode 5: Stop faking it, it is a waste of time.

 

A quote from Dr. Seuss Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

We are surrounded by self-help and inspirational quotes these days that all can make your head spin. 

 

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your inner voice. And, most important, dare to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. ~Steve Jobs, Founder of Apple

We all search for understanding and knowledge daily. However, we also will put on a mask to interact with others because we want to be polite, not hurt anyone's feelings, bow to authority, or not want to expose our true selves because we do not trust them.

Unmask the authentic self

Weeks before my mom passed away, I sat beside her, took a deep breath, and said, "I have no problem dealing with everything right now, and I have the strength to be here now, but I do not know how I will live without you." The heavy doses of pain meds had started to take a very noticeable toll on her. Finally, she looked at me without expression and said, "You just do."

There was nothing left to say right then. But, three simple words stuck with me after months and now years (going on three). YOU JUST DO!

 I was recently unsure what I have 'just do every day. 

Again, the self-help books I was diving into were just a distraction, and I felt nothing stuck.  

That was the big one. "What the hell was my problem? What HELP was I looking for? If I was looking for my SELF, how did I lose myself in the first place?

Things that helped me start to heal (my way)  

*Stop waiting for motivation. Just do…do it scared, do it honestly, do it from the heart, do it because you want to. 

Episode 4: Why does Sex'n'Fries exist?

 Sexnfries and a whole lot of whys.

Finding your authentic self and telling your story to connect, laugh, discover and heal. The blog was the first time I exposed myself and got confused about my authentic self. What the hell is finding yourself anyway? It is difficult for most of us to let it all hang out and let people judge us. It took me a long time to put my big girl panties on and tell my story and truths. 

In 2009, I started a blog called "Sex'n'Fries ."I would find things about sex and food on the internet that would make you go, "WTF!"

It was trendy, but I got old...yes, I got bored of it all. But, since Sex'n'Fries was my pet, I could not toss it. 

 

Here is the original 'About" that was posted on the blog way back when....

 The Wild Side of Normal

BE REAL

Who? We are just like those people in the picture.

BUT...we are older, lumpier, have more stretch marks, and don't sit in tubs with our clothes on or friends. We have families, pets, lives...we have tears and laughter, and most of it makes us pee a little. We have bad hair days, and when we don't, we get ourselves out, so someone can see it. 

We dance, sing, and with enough alcohol, we might even yodel. We have seen things, forgotten things, and wish for more things. We overeat, go on diets, lift weights...stop and repeat. (usually on Monday). Although we age every day without fail, we try to stay sexy through it all.

We get a dose of Sex and Fries

We all have a sexy side, a wild side, a comfort food- stuffing 'who gives a f'ck' moment or two. We have in us a feminist stripper with a waffling personality that possibly combines a twenty-year-old farmer's daughter and an overprotective grandmother. Our self-esteem polishes our sexiness and gives us too many opportunities to hide and cry. So here we come to a place in life, whether in your forties, fifties, or twenties, there are always changing times in your life, bringing us to eating the greasy trans fat, then complaining about our fat thighs and bloating.

Yes, I am a woman, hear me roar but stick around to see me weep!

We are aging and laughing about it.

...you have a better idea?

This blog is about the funny side of getting older, staying sane, and dealing with life. We laugh, we cry, and we tell it like it is. We deal with severe crap and get to the lighter side quite often, but it all leads to sex and fries. 

Enjoy a bit of fun!

Sorry if you were looking for something dirty; there is dirtier stuff on prime-time TV. 

So there you have it, my blog back in 2009 is now the podcast of a Fit*Fabulous*Fifty woman just trying to keep reasonably sane.