Episode 4 Season 2: My Boudoir Session: How did I manage to show it off?

 During a boudoir photography session, I donned lingerie and had my picture taken. I'll share why I did this and how I felt about the experience. Why do a boudoir session? What do you get from it?

Am I sexy enough? Can I feel the self-confidence boost I desire from a few pictures with barely anything on and false eyelashes?

Well, yes, I did it.

Two times, I had two different sessions with different photographers. 

There is a difference in their styles but one thing stays the same; Showing off our full potential for self-confidence. 

Is it the make-up? The hair? The clothing or lack of? It could be jewelry or heels.

The key to being self-confident is to brave the fear of exposing a side of yourself that is usually connected to so much self-doubt. 

Exposure in ways that go deeper than skin, makeup, and all the rest to prepare you for a shoot. This type of exposure shows you authenticity you cannot deny. 

In many ways, self-image can become distorted. You start to see something totally different from how other people view you. Your body, image, and beauty fade into a melting pot of self-doubt, gathered negative experiences to form a mental model that contradicts confidence. 

Does the boudoir session really help? 

Podcast episode: About my session

Episode 15 - SERIOUSLY. WHAT IS MY PROBLEM?

The answer to self-sabotage is not to self-sabotage yourself. Years of research and several bookshelves filled with self-help books have brought me to this astounding conclusion. I could have saved myself a few bucks or hundreds if I had put the red heels on. (in the podcast I said they were 6 inches but 3 inches feels like 6 to me: only referring to shoes though lol) Writing has been a therapy. Looking at past writing, you can view the ebbs and flows, ups and downs, and highs and lows, to most of it. Self Sabotage, I have mastered; that trait or quality is apparent whether I would like to acknowledge it or not. Drowning in inspiration and advice from the books, podcasts, and audiobooks, my "ah ha" moment, or what I call my "holy crap" moment, started to come clear to me. Not that I did not know this already, the notion I lack self-confidence and that I sabotage everything with my fears; the new realization was the fact that I was waiting for something to change. What the hell was I waiting for? All this time, I was waiting for change to happen. Was it to come in a lightning bolt to jolt my life in a new direction? Maybe a special delivery right to my front door? It will not manifest, especially with me shutting the door on change every time it appears. I took time to reflect and stood back from it all before the pieces started coming together. Now in no way am I where I want to be, but the door is open for new and exciting things to enter my life. One thing that holds me back is the lack of self-confidence; it is more an ingrained negative self-perception that most likely has some deep seeded root that someday will surface. The first thing that sparked was when I was listening to an interview that led to the question: 'When was the last time you felt outstanding? My answer was First, I'm not too fond of shoes and shopping altogether, and I often wonder if I am some other breed of woman. Second, I like simple, or at least that is what I thought before. Friends had invited us out for an evening of dancing at a club. You always see high heels on women, but not for this chick. My friend convinced me I needed to let loose, have some fun, get dressed up, and go all out. So we went shopping, and I purchased high heels. Totally out of my comfort zone, I turned heads, attention was on me, and I survived. My feet hurt like hell, but I ROCKED. Amongst the self-help shelves, I read: "Your higher self is in direct opposition to your comfort zone." My comfort zone has weighed me down to the point that I have become complacent, and as harsh as it sounds, I have become useless. I was, on the whole, the useless component of making my dreams a reality. As corny as it is, "my higher self was in high heels!" Comfort be damned. My comfort zone was the 'invisible me' blending into my surroundings. Alone in my safe, comfortable zone where the world does not judge me. The red shoes remind me that I look awesome, feel powerful, accomplish goals, and ROCK outside my comfort zone.

Episode 11 - Boudoir: The Self Confidence Connection

Why would we get undressed to feel more confident in ourselves? Do women need to feel beautiful?

We are exposed daily to images of sexy women. The female physique has been alluring for all time. The abundance of magazines, billboards, social media posts, and more sell products by displaying sexy women. The hint of sexual allusion was extremely popular to show sexy, and sex sells. With professional models and image filters covering magazines, billboards, TV, and social media, we start young by benchmarking our body expectations. 

We start to judge ourselves and doubt our body image. What we should be, what we could be, and the beauty product industry is proof at $500 billion annually. On average, women spend $150 on keeping up their beauty in a year. 

Episode 4: Why does Sex'n'Fries exist?

 Sexnfries and a whole lot of whys.

Finding your authentic self and telling your story to connect, laugh, discover and heal. The blog was the first time I exposed myself and got confused about my authentic self. What the hell is finding yourself anyway? It is difficult for most of us to let it all hang out and let people judge us. It took me a long time to put my big girl panties on and tell my story and truths. 

In 2009, I started a blog called "Sex'n'Fries ."I would find things about sex and food on the internet that would make you go, "WTF!"

It was trendy, but I got old...yes, I got bored of it all. But, since Sex'n'Fries was my pet, I could not toss it. 

 

Here is the original 'About" that was posted on the blog way back when....

 The Wild Side of Normal

BE REAL

Who? We are just like those people in the picture.

BUT...we are older, lumpier, have more stretch marks, and don't sit in tubs with our clothes on or friends. We have families, pets, lives...we have tears and laughter, and most of it makes us pee a little. We have bad hair days, and when we don't, we get ourselves out, so someone can see it. 

We dance, sing, and with enough alcohol, we might even yodel. We have seen things, forgotten things, and wish for more things. We overeat, go on diets, lift weights...stop and repeat. (usually on Monday). Although we age every day without fail, we try to stay sexy through it all.

We get a dose of Sex and Fries

We all have a sexy side, a wild side, a comfort food- stuffing 'who gives a f'ck' moment or two. We have in us a feminist stripper with a waffling personality that possibly combines a twenty-year-old farmer's daughter and an overprotective grandmother. Our self-esteem polishes our sexiness and gives us too many opportunities to hide and cry. So here we come to a place in life, whether in your forties, fifties, or twenties, there are always changing times in your life, bringing us to eating the greasy trans fat, then complaining about our fat thighs and bloating.

Yes, I am a woman, hear me roar but stick around to see me weep!

We are aging and laughing about it.

...you have a better idea?

This blog is about the funny side of getting older, staying sane, and dealing with life. We laugh, we cry, and we tell it like it is. We deal with severe crap and get to the lighter side quite often, but it all leads to sex and fries. 

Enjoy a bit of fun!

Sorry if you were looking for something dirty; there is dirtier stuff on prime-time TV. 

So there you have it, my blog back in 2009 is now the podcast of a Fit*Fabulous*Fifty woman just trying to keep reasonably sane.