Thursday, September 30, 2021

EP. 15: SERIOUSLY. WHAT IS MY PROBLEM?

 

The answer to self sabotage is not to self sabotage yourself.

Years of research and several book shelves filled with self help books have brought me to this astounding conclusion.

I could have saved myself a few bucks or hundreds if I would have put the red heels on. (in the podcast I said they were 6 inches but 3 inches feels like 6 to me: only referring to shoes though lol)

Writing has always been a therapy to me, when I look back on my stuff across the years, there is an ebb and flow; up and down; high and low, to most of it.

Self Sabotage, I have mastered, that trait or quality is apparent whether I would like to acknowledge or not.
Drowning in inspiration and advice from the books, podcasts and audio books, my "ah ha" moment or what I call my "holy crap" moment started to come clear to me.

Not that I did not know this already, the notion I lack self-confidence, and that I sabotage everything with my fears; the new realization was the fact that I was waiting for something to change. What the hell was I actually waiting for?
All this time waiting for change just to happen. Was it to come in a lightening bolt to jolt my life into a new direction? Maybe a special delivery right to my front door?

It is not going to manifest, especially with me shutting the door on change every time it appeared.
I took some time to reflect, stood back from it all before the pieces started to come together. Now in no way am I where I want to be but the door is open for new and exciting things to enter my life.
One thing that holds me back is the lack of self-confidence; it is more an ingrained negative self-perception that most likely has some deep seeded root that someday will surface.
First thing that sparked was when I was listening to an interview that led to the question: 'When was the last time you felt really good'. My answer was.......
First of all, I dislike shoes and shopping all together and I often wonder if I am some other kind of breed of woman. I like simple or at least that is what I thought before.

Friends had invited us out for an evening of dancing, at a club. You see high heels on women all the time, it is normal but not for this chick. My friend convinced me that I needed to let loose and have some fun, get dressed up and go all out. We went shopping and I actually purchased high heels.
Totally out of my comfort zone, I turned heads, attention was on me, and I survived. My feet hurt like hell but I ROCKED.
In amongst the shelves of self help I read: "Your higher self is in direct opposition of your comfort zone”
My comfort zone has weighed me down to a point that I become complacent and as harsh as it sounds, I became useless. I was, in a whole, the useless component to making my dreams a reality.
As corny as it is, "my higher self was in high heels!"
Comfort be damned.
My comfort zone was the 'invisible me' blending into my surroundings. Alone in my safe comfortable zone where the world does not judge me.

The red shoes are my reminder that I actually look awesome, feel powerful, accomplish goals and totally ROCK outside of my comfort zone.

Thursday, September 23, 2021

Can We Blame Barbie?

Barbie and self image
Barbie was normal when I was a young girl, dressing her up, brushing her hair and trying to find matching shoes before the dog ate them.
Marsha (Brady Bunch) had the long blonde hair that she brushed a hundred times before bed.
Twiggy was the thin model with no breasts, which I could relate to as I was called bean pole, but Farrah and Cheryl Tiegs were on the walls of most boys.

Thursday, September 9, 2021

The Mango Happiness Project Story #themango Ep.14

 

Her wheel chair did not fit easily between the table and the kitchen island. I finished helping her get ready for the day. I had arrived earlier that day and was so excited to show her, The Mango, my car, my orange car. I couldn’t believe, me, the chick who hates attention and was a devoted introvert, now drives a very orange car.



(The paint is called Gomango.)

Her reaction was short. “It is certainly orange.”

It was too late…

My brand spankin’ new car, which had 8 miles on it when bought, that I had owned for all of a day, she would never ride in.

For months on end of driving back and forth, the 5 hours in total per week and sometimes more, I had owned a Jeep Cherokee. When she went from cane to wheel chair, that son of a bitchin’ thing fit, just right, in the back. We would go for breakfast and my gut and arms were full of bruises as wrestling that chair was not my forte.

Friday, July 23, 2021

Boudoir: The Self Confidence Connection Ep.11


Why would we get undressed to feel more confident in ourselves?

Do women need to feel beautiful?

We are exposed daily to images of sexy women. The female physique has been alluring for all time. The abundance of magazines, billboards, social media posts and more sell products by displaying sexy women. The hint of sexual allusion was extremely popular to display sexy and sex sells. With professional models and image filters covering magazines, billboards, TV and now social media, we start young benchmarking our own body expectations.

We start to judge ourselves and doubt our body image. What we should be, what we could be and the beauty product industry is proof at $500 billion dollars annually. On average women spend $150 on keeping up their beauty in a year.

Wednesday, June 23, 2021

Just Lose It! It is Ok to be NOT Ok. Ep.9

Why do we judge ourselves so harshly over our emotions. If you are in a bad mood, you are a bitch. If you are sad, you are over sensitive. If you are grieving, you are a downer.

This could all be an internal conversation and have no bearing on what other's think at all. 

All the same, we go about our day and are flooded with positivity. In the forms of caring people who just want you to happy. In the form of memes on social media and even in the form of self help books. 

These books we turn to so we can unlock a miracle of happiness from every page.          🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️😢💋

For a positive affirmation to be effective, determine first the kind of transformation you want to make, such as an outcome, goal, or mindset that you want to develop. Scientific studies confirm that using affirmations can “rewire” your brain and help you make positive changes in your life. Some people believe that it takes several weeks of repeating a personal affirmation before you see results, so try to continue to say your positive affirmation daily for at least a month. At first, you'll need to make a conscious decision to repeat your affirmations. However, over time they will start to replace the negative thoughts that tend to take over when you aren't monitoring your thoughts. source


Sunday, May 23, 2021

It is NEVER too late to be GREAT Ep.8

Sex'n'Fries - the Podcast. this episode was amazing. It was my first with guests. It went pretty well considering no one had clue what they were doing.

How many times have you heard "Life got in the way" ?
How about "That is way out of my comfort zone!"?

When I was heading towards my fifties, I was stuck in a 'it is what it is and it is how it is'. Let me explain...
I had somehow learned that my age defined me and what I was to do. It was not obvious to me, but looking back, I realize how I was stuck in a predefined path.

The very day I left my mom's house after her funeral, the world seemed closed, claustrophobic and heavy. My world was changing whether I wanted it to or not.
Holy hell, now what?

As I learned to be an orphan, I realized that I was still learning. I realized I also had years and years of experience.

POW right on the side of a head spinning moment.... I already had the tools, smarts and now I needed to step from the comfort zone of 'letting things happen' and expand to another step.

If I knew then what I know now, most likely nothing would be different and I am sure I would not want it to be. All the crap I have lived through is my portfolio, it valuable life lessons that I continuous learned from. I might have failed a few exams here and there but you also learn from that.




Tracy:
Hello, my name is Tracy Hicks. I am an imperfect Wife, Mother, Daughter, Aunt, and Nana. I have a beautiful daughter, and two equally beautiful granddaughters. I turned 50 years young this past January, and haven't looked back. I am an Entrepreneur, and an Associate Market Builder with MONAT Global. I've lived in Ontario my whole life, but love to travel. I am living my best life.


Tracy talked to us about the changes life takes us through but how we start to fit into our own skin.

Barb

Hello, my name is Barb O'Dell. I am a Transformational Life Coach. A personal growth junkie from a young age. I have a passion for helping people to overcome obstacles and challenges. I have been married 36 years and have 2 grown children. Currently living in Ontario I am loving life and myself with the help of all I have learned in life so far.


Barb talked to us about how sometimes life lessons can take you on a transforming personal journey and it is not always easy to see your own value in those lessons. Barb also shows us that your greatness arrives at any age and you are the one that gets there.

Thank you to both my guests. I hope you enjoy this episode!

Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and to share it with everyone you know!



Friday, April 23, 2021

Didn't even know I had a Decolletage!

 De'-col-le-tage if you want to listen to the pronunciation go here.

It does not change a thing. I did not know I had one until I ordered the whole kit

and kaboodle of face and neck creams from Cindy Crawford's secret formula or

something like that. It is actually Meaningful Beauty. I only used it for awhile until it

leaked onto my dresser and the finish came off. Not the products fault, it was cheapish

furniture I guess, but I cancelled the ongoing subscription anyway.


We will use this picture because she looks like she has been taking care of her

decolletage.


Did you know?:

*Your neck and chest - decolletage or cleavage can get crepey as you age.

Sometimes referred to as turkey neck. I do not like the words crepey or turkey neck.

Once you learn how to say decolletage you will just stick with that, adding an accent is

fun too.

*Sunscreen is more important than ever to smoooooth that decolletage.

*Sleeping on you back helps, I am guessing from the gravity. Although boobs start to

pull towards the sides, so I am not sure if you sacrifice them, or that is helps pull you

chest so it isn't all bunched up and wrinkly.

*Apply moisturizer to this area everyday. I am not quite sure if you have to use a

specific lotion or cream designed for this area. Now that I know it shows aging traits,

I use whatever I have to smother this area.

*You should exfoliate your decolletage often to remove dead skin cells and build up

oils. Think about the direction of your conditioner from your hair, as you rinse it could

just sit there in your cleavage, I am guessing.

EP. 15: SERIOUSLY. WHAT IS MY PROBLEM?

  The answer to self sabotage is not to self sabotage yourself. Years of research and several book shelves filled with self help books have...