It is not funny so eat worms

It is just not funny anymore! Surrounded by self-help, self-pity,self-control,self-loathing, selflessness, self confidence, self esteem......SELF.

One more 'go get'em tiger' quote on Facebook...One more 'atta'boy' 'you can do it' ....

I really don't care how old I am, if I should know better, if I should, could and would...

I am taking a moment of ...

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
I think I'll go eat worms!
Big fat juicy ones,
Eensie weensy squeensy ones,
See how they wiggle and squirm!
Down goes the first one, down goes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm!
Up comes the first one, up comes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm!
I bite off the heads, and suck out the juice,
And throw the skins away!
Nobody knows how fat I grow,
On worms three times a day!
Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
I think I'll go eat worms!
Big fat juicy ones,
Eensie weensy squeensy ones,
See how they wiggle and squirm!

"ahhhh feel better already and just saved a fortune on therapy...the people around on the other hand..."

Smell it : Angry Pudding to Happy Garbage

Like most complementary therapies aromatherapy works on the whole body to improve general health.

Aromatherapy is effective for: Stress and anxiety related problems and can help with your mood.

Chamomile has a calming effect, Jasmine is an antidepressant and Neroli is a mild sedative.

Smell can put us in a great mood, calm us, get our juices going and provide some energy to a dull day.

What is your favorite? Cranberry-chocolate-strawberry and there is a rumor that pumpkin pie can really get your man revved up!

So if certain smells can put our mood in a positive swing, other smells can put us in a foul mood.

Garbage! How does that make you feel? Never really thought about it. A disgusting refuse odor might actually cause that bad mood. It reminds me that I need to clean the house.

Cat box odor - reminds me to clean the house.

Body odor - makes me sad. Body odor with a layer of chocolate - makes me mad.

Peppermint : This scent stimulates the region of the brain that controls wakefulness.

Lavendar : This herb have been shown to have a mildly sedating effect on the emotional center of the brain.

A dash of cinnamon: Appears to increase blood flow to the brain, which in turn supplies it with nourishing oxygen and glucose.

Citrus: this tangy scent can lift your spirits. Because citrusy smells so often bring to mind fresh-squeezed juice, sun-filled mornings and the promise of brand-new days, they have a naturally "happy" association.

There is no manual!

Online, in a book store, through a magazine, in a circle of friends, your mother, your spouse, the news, your spiritual advisor, the lady in the kids fashion store......now listen carefully...

THERE IS NO WAY TO PARENT LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING!

WHEN YOU THINK YOU ARE RIGHT SOMETHING WILL PROVE YOU WRONG!

You can search all you like for the best advice but you will still feel like you need a vice.

You will judge other parents and they will judge you. You will feel confident and terrified all at the same time.

Just when you think you have it under control and you are able to handle it.....

They (being your spawn) will enter into another stage of growing -physically and psychologically. When one method seems to work at the age of 8 they will reach 10 and prove all theory wrong.
The books and advice will be great for most but not your kid, they seem to be the exception to the rule.

So what is IT that you can do?

Pray...lots .....and have some faith. Lots of blind faith, that although you may not have handled all the tantrums - theirs and yours to the text book quality or standard....that although you might have given in and fed them some 'not so healthy food'...you might have locked yourself in the bathroom for longer than needed or put on their favorite video for the umptenth time to keep them quiet....

They will become (by faith and prayer) amazing adults that will thank you one day (maybe not verbally but you will understand by their actions) They will become beautiful beings that make mistakes but know their manners, miss you when you are apart and call you for silly little things proving that they will always need and want you.

You may have to wait a good 20 years or so but there will be a day that you will find out you were not a total screw up as a parent after all.

Sweat! NOT

I have often wondered how some people can be so 'fluffy'. Not in the cuddly overweight way some like to describe themselves as, but in the social persona way that makes me want to flick them on the forehead with my fingers kind a way!

I am an overactive social monitor, a tool I have not mastered to serve me just. It may even prevent me from wanting to be near people. The self help "I have all the answers to help you take away all your problems" type of people.

Fluffy is a polite way to express "I feel you are full of Bull Sh**"

The books, the presentations and the inspirations with motivations leading to affirmations. Then you find out that when they are not in the spotlight leading you to stardom, they are having a breakdown, smoking, gambling, drinking and lovin' that buffet.

Don't see much of that crap in the books. You hear about the things that were "BAD" in their lives before 'now'.

We all might a bit of Charlie Sheeness in our closets but there is no room for fluffy.

If it is called "Self-Help" why do we look to others to help us?

Can I Eat Chicken Before Sex?

Many strange questions have been asked. This is one of them. It was found as one of the strange search phrases that were used to get to this blog.

Someone actually put the words in "Can I Eat Chicken Before Sex" and for some other strange reason they were directed to "Sex'n'Fries".

I am not going to answer that question as I feel I am unqualified to examine and hypothesis on such an answer, so instead I will just carry on with my day and try my best not to wonder why anyone would take the time to make such a search on the Internet.

I receive many questions on fitness and wellness during a day, some do make me want to pull my hair out. I certainly love what I do, and enjoy very much helping people achieve their goals when it comes to living a healthier lifestyle. People need to stop watching daytime TV and reading magazines though, as the information  gives them a sense that there is an easy way to be healthier instead of the obvious. The information that people get is tailored to sell, whether it is a product, a service or just to build an audience.

One thing I can say is that it does not matter what you eat before sex or after sex, or during sex. Just enjoy it.

....damn, think I answered the question.